On Tuesday night’s episode of The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert delivered a scathing and hilarious takedown of former President Donald Trump, following the release of a bizarre and disturbing birthday letter allegedly written by Trump to the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
With his trademark blend of sharp wit and political satire, Colbert dubbed the letter “a Picasso of pervitude,” referencing not only its disturbing tone but also its graphic content. The letter, made public by the House Oversight Committee on Monday, was reportedly part of a birthday book compiled for Epstein’s 50th birthday. Trump’s message was scrawled over a hand-drawn image of a nude woman—and most controversially, his signature at the bottom appeared stylized to resemble pubic hair.
Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
“The letter he wrote was a Picasso of pervitude,” Colbert quipped, eliciting uproarious laughter from the studio audience. He didn’t stop there. As he read portions of the letter aloud, Colbert mimicked Trump’s voice and mannerisms with pinpoint precision. “The message said, ‘Happy birthday, and may every day be another wonderful secret,’” he read mockingly. “Trump denied everything and sued The Wall Street Journal for $20 billion, calling the letter ‘nonexistent.’ But, turns out, it existed—because yesterday, the House Oversight Committee released it. And whoops-a-puby, that sure as hell looks legit!”
Colbert pointed out that Trump’s signature in the letter matched several others from the early 2000s, suggesting its authenticity was hard to deny. “You know what they say: If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, that duck probably shouldn’t be within 300 yards of a school.”
Despite mounting evidence, many of Trump’s allies continue to claim the letter is either fake or irrelevant. Colbert didn’t let that slide. He launched into a rapid-fire series of impressions, mocking Republican figures such as House Speaker Mike Johnson and Rep. Tim Burchett.
He ridiculed Johnson for refusing to acknowledge the letter’s legitimacy. “I don’t think it’s real. Have you seen the president’s new clothes?” Colbert said in a fairy-tale tone, parodying The Emperor’s New Clothes. “He’s hired the finest tailor in all the kingdom. Now he wears gorgeous robes we can all clearly see. Although I don’t know why he pinned a dead baby squirrel to the crotch.”
Colbert then turned his sights on Rep. Tim Burchett, who had speculated that Trump’s signature might have been forged. From here, Colbert spun a completely fictional but hilarious scenario involving time travel, conspiracy, and an unlikely alliance between Joe Biden and Barack Obama.
“The year was 2003,” Colbert narrated, using the tone of a dramatic movie trailer. “The whole country agrees: Stacy’s mom has got it going on. The scene? Jeffrey Epstein’s 50th birthday party. Suddenly, a time-traveling Joe Biden bursts into the room. He’s there to sabotage Apprentice host Donald Trump by forging his signature in a birthday book that won’t be discovered for another 22 years.”
At this point, Colbert removed his glasses and impersonated former President Barack Obama: “Joe, when you’re done, let’s make me a fake birth certificate.”
And of course, Colbert couldn’t resist taking a jab at Eric Trump, who previously defended his father by saying, “My dad does not sketch cartoon drawings.” In response, Colbert played a clip of Eric and then launched into a goofy impression, tucking his top lip into his mouth and speaking with exaggerated cluelessness.
“My dad definitely didn’t write birthday cards,” Colbert mocked. “He doesn’t even remember birthdays. What he does is he goes on a business trip, and when he comes back… he brings you a gift: a new mommy.”
Colbert’s monologue ended with thunderous applause, not just for the comedy, but also for the biting commentary that underscored it. While the authenticity and implications of the letter remain under scrutiny, its release has reignited longstanding questions about Trump’s ties to Epstein—an association that continues to raise eyebrows and provoke investigation.
As usual, Colbert’s mix of satire and substance proved a potent combination, turning late-night comedy into a searing political commentary. Whether you’re laughing or cringing—or both—one thing is clear: this story, much like the mysterious birthday letter itself, is far from over.
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