BREAKING: Karoline Leavitt’s 7-Word Message to Whoopi Goldberg Sends ‘The View’ Cast Fleeing to Canada

A MESSAGE SO POWERFUL, IT EVAPORATED A TALK SHOW

In a turn of events no one saw coming, Karoline Leavitt—former Trump campaign spokesperson and rising conservative firebrand—reportedly sent a seven-word message to Whoopi Goldberg that was so unnerving, the entire cast of The View allegedly packed their bags and fled to Canada that very night.

Sources close to the show (read: a guy who works in the building’s cafeteria) claim Goldberg gathered her co-hosts—Joy Behar, Sunny Hostin, Sara Haines, and Alyssa Farah Griffin—into a frantic huddle before whispering, “We have to go. Now.” By midnight, they were reportedly spotted at a Tim Hortons in Toronto, sipping double-doubles and nervously glancing over their shoulders.

WHAT DID LEAVITT SAY?

Whoopi Goldberg lashes out at Karoline Leavitt, says 'wokeness' got her the press secretary job

The exact seven-word message remains classified (possibly buried in the same vault as the Nicolas Cage National Treasure script), but insiders speculate it may have been one of the following:

    “I have your Google search history.”
    “Joy, your wig budget is public.”
    “Sunny, I found your burner account.”
    “Alyssa, the RNC wants you back.”
    “Whoopi, the Sister Act 3 script… leaked.”

Leavitt, when reached for comment, simply smirked and said, “Sometimes, the truth is scarier than fiction.”

THE VIEW’S GREAT CANADIAN ESCAPE

Karoline Leavitt KICKS Whoopi Goldberg OFF The View on Live TV – His Response is SHOCKING!

Eyewitnesses (a.k.a. Twitter sleuths) claim the hosts left in such a hurry that:

Joy Behar forgot her “I Heart Hillary” mug.
Sara Haines abandoned half a kale smoothie.
Sunny Hostin left behind a “Legal Analysis for Dummies” textbook.
Whoopi allegedly muttered, “I survived Ghost, but not this.”

Meanwhile, ABC executives are scrambling, debating whether to:
✅ Replace the cast with AI holograms (already trained to argue).
✅ Rebrand as The View: Northern Exposure.
✅ Just air Golden Girls reruns forever.

LEAVITT’S NEXT MOVE? WORLD DOMINATION

Fresh off this psychological takedown of daytime TV, Leavitt is rumored to be:

Drafting a seven-word tweet for Rachel Maddow.
Recording a seven-second voice memo for CNN.
Sending a seven-emoji DM to Disney CEO Bob Iger.

“She’s like the Final Destination of political messaging,” marveled one terrified MSNBC producer. “You don’t see it coming… until it’s too late.”

WILL THE VIEW RETURN?

As of press time, the show’s set remains eerily empty, save for a single note taped to Whoopi’s chair:

“Gone fishing. Or hiding. Same thing. – The Cast”

UPDATE: Canada has reportedly asked for asylum seekers to at least try poutine before overstaying their welcome.

#TheView #KarolineLeavitt #WhoopiGoldberg #Satire #FakeNewsButFunny