“Now he’s focused all of his rage on the one foe who refused to take him up, and that is the U.N.’s escalator,” Colbert said of Trump’s recent post on Truth Social.
Stephen Colbert called President Trump’s escalator incident at the United Nations ”a close call, especially for the first lady, cause he almost touched her”.
Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Scandal Times Three
In a lengthy post on Truth Social, President Trump claimed a “triple sabotage” occurred during his recent trip to the United Nations.
“‘Triple Sabotage at the U.N.’ Of course, also, the title of your book your dad bought at the airport.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but ever since Trump got back into office, he’s been waging a campaign of vengeance against his enemies who he believes have been trying to take him down,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.
“Now he’s focused all of his rage on the one foe who refused to take him up, and that is the U.N.’s escalator.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“That sudden stop was a close call, especially for the first lady, ’cause he almost touched her. Yeah. Yeah, they should slide in some sort of shield like those pieces of paper they put between slices of cheese.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, usually when a drama queen throws that much of a hissy, at least Andy Cohen interviews them after the show.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (When Escalators Attack Edition)
“One of the things I want to do while we’re in New York, and I want you to go with me here. I want to see the escalator that tried to viciously attack the president this week.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I thought Trump was the most masculine president ever. You guys are talking about him like he’s a Fabergé egg. Is he a cross between Dave Bautista and Ivan Drago or is he the old lady from the ‘Life Calls’ commercial?” — SETH MEYERS, on right-wing media coverage of the escalator incident
“I’m starting to get confused. Is he the strongest, healthiest, most physically powerful man-beast ever elected president or a brittle-boned grandma with osteoporosis? Which is it?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The most masculine president in history sure sounds like someone who would get kicked off the Nextdoor app for complaining too much.” — SETH MEYERS
“They act like they dropped him into shark-infested waters. It was an escalator. You know what another word for frozen escalator is? Stairs.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Regina Hall, a star of “One Battle After Another,” told Jordan Klepper about working with a scene-stealing baby on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
News
At a backyard barbecue, my nephew was served a thick, perfectly cooked T-bone steak—while my son got nothing but a charred strip of fat. My mother laughed, “That’s more than enough for a kid like him.” My sister smirked and added, “Honestly, even a dog eats better than that.” My son stared down at his plate and quietly said, “Mom… I’m okay with this.” An hour later, when I finally understood what he meant, my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
My name is Lauren Mitchell, and the most terrifying thing my son has ever said to me didn’t sound scary at…
The billionaire’s son was suffering in pain every night until the nanny removed something mysterious from his head…
In the stark, concrete mansion perched above the cliffs of Monterra, the early morning silence shattered with a scream that…
“Mom… I don’t want to take a bath anymore.” My daughter started saying that every night after I remarried. At first, it sounded small. Ordinary. The kind of resistance every parent hears a hundred times. But it wasn’t.
“Mom… I don’t want to take a bath.” The first time Lily said it, her voice was so quiet I…
When a Nurse Placed a Healthy Baby Beside Her Fading Twin… What Happened Next Brought Everyone to Their Knees
The moment the nurse looked back at the incubator, she dropped to her knees in tears. No one in that…
She Buried Her Mom with a Phone So They Could ‘Stay Connected’… But When It Rang the Next Day, What She Heard From the Coffin Left Everyone Frozen in Terror
When the call came, Abby’s blood ran cold. The screen showed one name she never expected to see again: Mom….
Three days after giving birth to twins, my husband walked into my hospital room—with his mistress—and placed divorce papers on the tray beside me. “Take three million dollars and sign,” he said coldly. “I only want the children.” I signed… and vanished that very night. By morning, he realized something had gone terribly wrong.
Exactly seventy-two hours after a surgeon cut me open to bring my daughters into the world, my husband, Ethan Cole, strolled…
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